What’s really going on in my head during yoga…

Teacher: Just one more minute, you are doing so well!

Me: One more minute? Fuck off! Fuck, shit, ouch, fuck!

Teacher: Now lie down for shavasana. Relax.

Me: Hear that brain? Shut the fuck up.

Teacher: Send out a blessing to yourself for coming out tonight.

Me: Up top! High five me! I totally came out even though I didn’t want to.

Teacher: Send a blessing to the others in the room

Me: One for my hommies.

Teacher: Send a blessing to your loved ones.

Me: One for my posse.

Teacher: And send a blessing to the universe.

Me: Shout out to everyone. Word.

Driving home I feel so enlightened…Until some douche bag pulls out in front of me and drives like a Grandma, fer fucks sake!