That is bullshit! Omg travelling is so fun and then after 5 hours on a plane, with an ass you just assume is there but can’t feel and not one comfortable possible position to sleep, the fun wears off! I swear to God. The flight to London was ok, minus the fact we could NOT sleep at all and during the landing in London it was so rocky I ACTUALLY grabbed the vom bag for the first time ever, just in case. But the 12 hour flight to Jo’Burg? That’s pretty brutal. You can’t sleep, you can’t get comfortable (something about plane seats make my ass go numb immediately), it was hot and SOMEONE who I will not name accidentally ordered me vegan meals…FAIL! Hot breakfast without eggs is just a sad snack,..

It just seems you lose so much on a plane…earrings, ability to SLEEP, any control of your cesspool greasy hair, patience, feeling in your ass, your self control to not watch 4 movies in a row even though only half of them are decent… the moral of the story is travelling without Lorazapam is not okay…

So needless to say, it’s not about the journey…it’s the destination.

Because we are here! Wooooo!

I think I should try and be more truthful this trip to South Africa…sometimes when in other countries I feel that white lies are both acceptable and amusing.

Last time, when asked by a young South African girl if I knew Justin Bieber, I replied that I did! We were both from Ontario, which meant we were neighbours. She freaked out and I walked away…

I also may have told everyone in Hennie’s family that all women in Canada were my size. I told them it was incredibly important for women to have blubber on their bodies in order to stay warm during the long, cold, Canadian winters…they believed me…

I may just leave that last one as is.

People have been asking me for days if we are packed. Packed? NO! It’s an hour before the airport and I am just putting my trip playlists together! I spent the whole day running around only to  come home a few hours before heading to the airport, haphazardly throw everything into a suitcase and think of a few things half an hour later I couldn’t believe I may have forgotten (cosmetics bag, earrings, SHOES) and now I feel semi-prepared.

I am the worst packer ever. I knew today after putting the first two items into a suitcase, both items of which I NEVER WEAR, that I was failing the packing test already. I also am being weird and taking some vitamins with me, which is stupid because I NEVER remember to take them here, let alone take them while travelling. I also hope Hennie has packed a plug thingy for South Africa or else I won’t be able to use a hairdryer! That would be a disaster. Hennie is also official guarder of the passport. I can’t be trusted. Last time I used it was for a shopping trip down to the states. I returned with some AMAZINGLY CHEAP clothes but also without my passport. This barely scrapes the surface as to why I can’t be trusted with an official government document, but that’s another story.

Well wish us luck, I’m going to go sit on my suitcase to see if I can close it.  Trip begins now! South Africa here we come!

P.S-Accidentally ate some gluten, plane ride is now going to be awkward…sorry everyone!