Wow. What a weekend!

We started off on Friday night by celebrating, Debbie, Hennie’s cousin’s birthday. She is our Jagermeister drinking friend. Hours of singing, dancing, me playing the drunken psychologist for someone while sitting in a bathtub, and shots of Jager…needless to say the evening was fun. But the next morning I was suffering greatly. The party had all the signs of a great time, drama, broken ash trays and terrible, terrible hangovers. We knew Debbie would want to celebrate. On Monday she had been involved in an attemtped car jack. She had a gun slip through her window and into her face. She got out of the car only to see the guy was nervous, an amateur. So as any good super religious, Jager drinking person, she kicked him in the balls, kicked the gun out of his hands, there was a struggle and she got away. Scary! But go Debbie!

The next day, after hours of me feeling terrible sorry for myself, we went to a party for my sister-in-laws Grandma and Aunts. Wow. There was more meat than you could shake a stick at, and all my favourites. Pig on a spit (ewww), chicken with bones in them (ickkk), and coil sausages (looks like poo). But I was so starving from “cleansing” my body all day, I ate some. After an hour the hall where the Birthday took palce looked like the Carleton Place Bingo Hall in the 1990′s on a Saturday night. People with mullets, 80′s fashion and sooooo much smoke! I think it’s a rule here that you must smoke to live here. It was crazy. And the music, omg the music. It was either country, Elvis or their weird traditional music that sounds like polka with a faster beat. And the traditional dancing is just old school slow dancing, one arm wrapped around the other, one arm out but they speed it up! Like slow dancing on fast forward! It looked retarded. So I old Hennie, you know now that Afrikaaners in my books are rednecks. He looked around and agreed.

So here we are, we are leaving today! I can’t beleive it. It’s so different from last time. Last time when we were leaving we were sad because we didn’t know why we were leaving. We had so little going in Canada that it seemed like going back there was dumb. This time is totally different. We have been here for 3 weeks. We have lived it here. We have seen it all. It’s time to go home. I love South Africa and I could live here for short term only but it will never be my home.

Dear Canada,

I used to think you were boring, even annoying. The politics, the cold, the rules. I have found new found respect for you. You are a safe, cozy place, where it’s ok to be a vegetarian, where 2-3 ply toilet paper reigns (here it’s 1ply and I use half a roll everytime I go, wtf SA). Where driving isn’t a blood curdling experience, where the biggest problem at four way stops isn’t if you are going to get killed or not, it’s that no one can decide who should go first, no you go, no really I insist, YOU go, no really you go. Canada you don’t need security systems, bars on the windows, electric fence surrounding the property and paranoia that the maid and the gardener are planning to kill you. Canada, you ain’t so bad. See ya soon.

BUT NOT UNTIL AFTER LONDON!!!!!!!!!!