I walked by a guy that I think was masturbating in his car today. I’m sure I killed whatever momentum he had going. I was sweating like a maniac and was wearing a sweater that resembled a grizzly bear. Unless he was into bears, then I may have helped him out.

I bought an expensive but totally worth it set of fine tip, german made markers. I have colour coded our “family calendar” (even though there is only two of us but trust me our schedules are stupid, well mine is, to be precise). Oh my god, it was a total organization orgasm!!! Everyone should colour code everything, it feels soooo gooood.

There is a new song out called Royals by Lordes. I really like it. Except every time I sing it I accidentally sing we will never be lawyers… 

I went to a little nub of a gas station yesterday. It was so busy and so badly crammed into a corner that you literally couldn’t move your car anywhere until everyone around you did. It was a 3 point turn, petrol anarchy nightmare. It was such a tight squeeze everywhere that I watched a VW bug drive over a curb. They were like yeah, fuck waiting, we are doing this. In a Bug! There were so many hysterical million point turns going on that I thought for a second we were on just for laughs and they were all recording us and laughing. It looked like that Austin Powers scene where they get caught in the tunnel and spend the next hour trying to get out with 45 point turns. I also nearly hit an elderly buddy but that is besides the point. Hey Greenbank, let’s not shove anymore gas stations into wee corners that make no sense. Unless of course you are recording it for tv, then carry on.

So I have OCD in the sense that my house isn’t clean but one certain thing will be cleaned over and over again. I also have a mild phobia of my hands being dirty and not in the sense of being full of germs or touching other things, I mean having food on them. So going to the movies always requires a little self crazy package of cleaning items I’m sure only I think of. It’s not just napkins, oh no. It’s napkins, tissues, wet wipes and a helmet. I’m sure everyone in the theatre is wondering what the fuck that smell is when I take out my health food store wet wipes that reek of oregano oil and ass. But my world is a better place when I wipe away all the shit popcorn has left on my hands. God bless the wet wipes. 

We went to see Pacific Rim tonight!! Hennie wanted to see Wolverine but I totally insisted on Pacific Rim because I have been DYING to see it. We get there, we have to pay the stupid extra 3D bullshit so we can become extreme geeks and where glasses over glasses. Within the first minute of the movie I realize I have no prior knowledge to what the movie is about. The only thing that matters is that Jax from Sons of Anarchy is in and as an added bonus so is the dude that plays Luther from a British cop show (AND Ron Perlman from SOA also makes a cameo!). Hennie has to practically shut me up when they show the first SHIRTLESS shot of Jax! And then I realize the movie is about aliens and robots?? I had NO idea! I have never seen a trailer for it and must have had helmet blinders on because I really had no idea that’s what the movie entailed. I was shocked actually when they started talking about aliens. I was like wtf?! But it turned out okay! Jax was stupid hot in it and the movie was actually pretty decent. Extreme Jax robot alien fighting! Woot! Hennie was like “was the only reason we went to see that movie was because Jax was in it?” I was like “what? No! Yes, completely.” Totally worth it. 

There is a sign outside of Shoppers Drug Mart that says something about giving a deal to ODB patients. The only knowledge of the acronym I know for ODB is Ol’ Dirty Bastard. So Shoppers, I am not totally sure that’s the best way to entice the elderly crowd into your store. Maybe not the best acronym for the raisin ranch crowd, you gettin’ me?

Air Freshener sprays in the bathroom are one way to kill a scent you like quickly. It’s like wow, I love this lemon scent. Then you walk by the bathroom and it’s like, ya someone just had a dump, smells like it, even though it’s lemon fresh. When I worked at Rainbow the bathroom always reeked of orange (organic) air spray because everyone I worked with was ALWAYS on a cleanse. Eventually I was so disgusted by the scent of orange I actually gave up eating oranges for quite a long time. All scents eventually become synonymous with shit if you utilize them in the can…

Omg he’s here! HE’S HERE! No this is not the second coming. But the busker I once decided I would marry is in Ottawa! I was 16 ish, I was in Winnipeg visiting my sister and there he was street performing…on his 12 foot pole, a tattooed Aussie juggling sharp things, making dirty jokes and being terribly charming. I knew immediately he would be mine, oh yes. Even though I was at my AWKWARD and WEIRD stage in life (maybe I still am actually) I still felt one day we would marry and travel the world juggling chainsaws and knives together…and I just read he was in Ottawa for the Buskers festival and I missed him again. Next time Alakazam, next time.

PS-I own a domain y’all! http://www.gracenic8.com is mine! Muwahahaha