Aren’t points on credit cards bitter sweet? It’s like, holy shit we have $80 in PC Points! OMG what is the balance on our credit card if we have that many points?! Those points are not free! We suffer for them. Fucking credit cards.

I find my car has become depressing because of the music. Firstly, every time I heard Ike and Tina I would think domestic abuse. Then I shed a tear listening to Lou Reed’s Perfect Day because he had just died and now I’m sad about listening to INXS because Michael Hutchence offed himself many moons ago. It’s a sad sad car right now. But I have decided I have to turn it around. We shall overcome! Tina bounced back and made the most badass Buddhist comeback ever. Lou Reed had an amazing career and guess what society, people die of old age, it totally happens. And Michael, oh Michael. I like to think your death was accidental from some crazy autoerotic play that got out of hand. That you were not sad, but very very happy when it happened. This makes me feel better. Which is creepy….

Well I finally paid that fucking parking ticket I have previously ranted about. But I was badass, I paid it two days late. Take that authority!! I kind of wish the city of Ottawa would just remember my credit card the same way Amazon does. Like how they make it too easy to buy stupid things because you don’t have that step of manually putting in your credit card number which gives you that half a second longer to realize you don’t need an expensive, fancy grill pan, that you can just steal from your parents all the time. Yes, I wish it was that easy to pay off my bloody tickets so that I wouldn’t have that extra second to rage about paying the city for a ticket I may or may not deserve. Get it together city of Ottawa.

I am working so much and I guess obsessively washing my hands because of it that my hands looked diseased. There is skin flaking off everywhere, there are cuts and bruises all over them and quite often, just to be pretty, some dried blood. When I hand someone their latte I hope I am not adding some extra Angie sprinkles on the top. At least maybe there is some protein there. But every time I look down at my hands, this voice in my head yells “You will never be a hand model now. NEVER!” And then I realize it’s true, that is one job I can scratch off my wall of future job possibilities. So sad.

I told Hennie I thought we should get professional family Christmas portraits this year. But instead of having a family we would bring our computers and say “Greetings from Angie, Hennie, Lenova & Apple.” Because those are our babies right now. My sister suggested our cars. A family portrait of Hennie and I, the Honda & Yaris. I think it would be funny. Happy Holidays from Hennie, Angie, Peanut and Tina! (Tina is not the official name of my car yet, I am playing around with it)

I was telling Hennie the other day that there are people, possibly even people in our circle of friends, that believe we all have the right to bear arms. (Ok not our circle of friends, but more acquaintances). I new immediately that this is where he went because started laughing maniacally.

Somehow, miraculously, Hennie had some dental coverage from Algonquin and someone was kind enough to send us a cheque for $500!! Consequently, I decided this was the right time to tell Hennie, I was pretty sure I needed new shoes. And not cute, cheap shoes, like real, solid, expensive shoes for my very sad flat feet. Hurrah! New addition to the family, a red pair of Blundstones! I think Hennie thought I was kidding when I said they may be expensive but when he saw the bill he realized that for the first time in my life, ever, I was not exaggerating.

I know I should know what’s going on with computers, but seriously, I don’t get the hashtag thing at all. It’s even funnier when people say it because I think it makes them sound dumb, mainly because I don’t know what it is referring too. But the whole thing pisses me off. I’m on the toilet #peeing. What? I’m shopping #spending money I don’t have. I just don’t get it. Lot’s of snow!#wishIownedacarscraper. It is an internet mystery to me. For the next week I will try and use hashtag in a sentence just to sound like I know what I;m talking about and uber trendy. #willsoundsuperrelevant

Omg on the Charlie Hunnam International facebook group people are getting matching tattoos! I think I am part of a radical sect! The radical sect of the love for a blonde biker boy. It freaks me out. Matching tattoos! I thought I was hardcore super fan, but that shit is just crazy. I renounce my super fanness and pass it on to the tattooed crazies.

Have you ever noticed that the standard mug size is the perfect size for your phone to fit into. Like my mug on the floor is just waiting for me to perfectly drop my iphone right into it. I imagine this scenario happening every time I hold the mug and even remotely see my phone. The neurosis I live with is astounding.

Hennie and I again tried to pick something to watch on Netflix. It went horribly as usual. Hennie would flip through the titles too slowly, he would consider each one and read the description of the movie, which for me is totally unnecessary. I can tell by the first word of the description, the first second of the trailer or the movie poster what exactly is the reason I don’t need to watch it. So after about 20 minutes of me explaining every little reason why I didn’t want to watch each movie I started yelling out the one word reason why I wouldn’t be interested in watching that particular movie. Aliens! Surfing! Nicholas Cage with shoulder length hair! That girl! Tom Cruise! Robots!

I found the Best of Queen red album in my back of cassettes. Wow does that ever take me back! That was my first cd as a kid and listened to it all the time, sang it all the time and choreographed every song. I made up the words to many of the songs as a kid and today, just realized, I never did learn the proper words. “You’ve got to give me sights I’ve never seen, like the diaper that stinks every time.” Or “She keeps Moey and Chantelle in a pretty cabinet.” “She’s a killer queen, gutted with a lazer beam, dynamite with lace so green.” I actually have no idea what the actual words are (except for Moet & Chandon)but that does not stop me from singing them as loud as I can.

When my car is cold the tape plays quicker which makes an already pretty high up there Freddie Mercury sound like the chipmunks on crack.