Well it is that time of year again. Time to reflect on how Canada is completely over shadowing my 33rd birthday *rude* and to top it all off, U2 coming to Ottawa the day of my birthday event – GROSS. I can’t ever really get my head around Canada Day (usually because every year I an hung over and just haze through it) but it seems like a loaded thing to celebrate. There seem to be many obvious issues from Canada’s past and current state that make celebrating massively hypocritical and even inappropriate. I suppose people are just celebrating their home, their sense of security, not being led by Trump, having a hot ineffective Prime Minister, the fact that the bars stay open until 4am this one day, who knows. But this year will be wild. I have never ventured down to Parliament Hill and certainly this year will not be the first time I try. I get a little tinge of stress in large groups where I a) can’t walk at my own pace and b) can’t get to bathroom quickly if for any reason I would need to. I have always had a very mild form of bathroom anxiety probably stemming from the year that I couldn’t trust my bowels to do anything right. I think I have it mainly under control but there are still too many photo finishes that make me think – giant crowd is a no, unless I have a diaper. How I got to this phrase while talking about Canada Day, I have no idea.

The Man has started off the celebrations by making it a birthday week. I was reflecting on how lucky I am to have a partner that is excited to celebrate and make the most of my birthaversary and in that same mindset I came up with a list of things that I know I do that drives him crazy. So despite this list, we still had a great week (except when I did these things). Let’s take a look.

Alex loses his mind when…

I use a tea towel to clean things

I Speed as fast as I can at those digital speed board telling you to slow down

I Speed frequently and yell at everyone as I drive

When I buy a new plant

When that plant then dies

When I tell him I accidentally maxed my credit card…again

When I “change” our plans even though I don’t recall ever having plans in the first place

When I remind him that heating things in the oven does not count as cooking

When I don’t fill up the water jug that I have put back into the fridge

When I touch his belly

The end.

I have mentioned before that I bike to work most days. I have observed other bikers making the proper bike signals as they whiz through the Glebe. As a driver I never understood why they used these cryptic signs that may not be obvious to other drivers. So when I am going to make a turn I signal it by doing a single gun (versus double guns) with my hand. I feel like it’s a way to say hey, I am just a person too, not in the super cycle club of bikers that have created their own arm language. Although I think it is pretty obvious to most people I am not a professional biker, usually by the clothes I’m wearing, my lack of helmet (it ruins my hair on the way to work!) and my bike is 100 years old (ish).

One of my favourite shops in the Glebe is Glebe Video. For those of you who know, speeding along with technology is not exactly my forte. I was never more aware of this as when I went to the Apple Store to buy myself this new computer and I could not figure out how to purchase it. I could not find boxes of the computer I wanted, nor could I see a line. I believe I resorted to putting up my hand until a 15 yr old with a headset came over and told me how great a decision I was making and then continued to ask questions about my old computer that I could not answer. The processor speed or something? Slow. The operating system? Archaic. I dunno.

Anyways, the glebe video makes me feel like I’m not alone in my techtard existence. Clearly, it is a store for DVDs (and VHS!). Most people know how to find their movies elsewhere but not I. My only way of finding videos is either Netflix or a video store. The most amazing thing about this store is the checking out process. You go to the counter with your DVD(s). There is a TV playing a dvd just off to the corner so people at the counter can watch it. But their love of video is so intense, if you hit them at the right scene, they will watch the scene while holding your empty DVD case while you awkwardly watch with them hoping they speed it up because you most definitely did not pay for parking. They then find the DVD amongst the stacks in the back (in my head with a ladder through the stacks like Beauty and Beast), take your paper membership card and then hand write a receipt. The Man jokes that if we ever have 20 minutes we need to kill we just need to rent a dvd and hang out in the check out process. The best check out was when (owner?) main older gentleman I see there had Fifty Shades Darker playing on the tv and obviously had no idea what it was about. I was checking out while a character on the screen yelled competitively that he could make her cum harder than anyone else. He looked up and said, people had been asking about this dvd…can you believe it? An older gentleman joined the line behind me and then the scene became super hot Irish guy asking Anastasia to take off her underwear in a restaurant so he could then do X to her.  Where do you look when you are a young woman (I wrote girl here first and realized that may be wrong) sandwiched between 2 older men watching Anastasia decide who COULD make her come harder. Where?!