I am a bit of a busy person. Those who know me, know I am not often great at doing nothing or relaxing or just sitting still. I also do not have a long attention span. So being asked to stay at home is a little rough. I was reading about someone who was making little activity stations for their kids and I was like, I kind of feel like I do that for myself. 

1. Trying not to drink too much coffee station
2. Secretly snacking station
3. Obsessively cleaning station
4. Quietly reading station
5. Always cooking station
6. Looking out to see if any parcels have been delivered to my front door station
7. Trying not to drink too much wine station
8. Pretending that the 20 minute workout I am doing is burning major calories station
9. Mind numbing Netflix station
10. Continually making grocery lists and online phantom shopping carts station
11. Compulsively walking around my neighbourhood and becoming obsessed with mansions station.

I do this all day long (oh and working). I am constantly cycling through these things. And I know people say they are exhausted running around their kids all day…I can be a bit much too.

I have washed my hands so many times that my iPhone no longer recognizes my thumb print to unlock the phone. 

Is everyone else just constantly online shopping or making phantom carts that you never actually purchase?! I guess phantom carting is the new window browsing. The major danger is after a couple of glasses of wine, actually committing to the phantom cart. I like to have several phantom carts on the go at all times. I also phantom cart take out sometimes, until somehow a phantom carted Shawarma ended up on my front door step…

Somedays I feel like I am on a vacation resort where I am really just killing time until my next meal or drink. Like oh, it is 3:30? Should I start thinking about dinner? Is it too early for a drink?? Oh am I still technically working and on the clock? Who knows. 

I was making a grocery list, while sitting on the couch yesterday and I somehow lost my pen. I finally found it IN MY STOMACH ROLLS.

I have now officially listened to so many podcasts that I am listening to different podcasts that cover the same subject. I scared myself when I was cooking in the kitchen, listening to a podcast and I shouted back at it about a fact about the DC killer. Everyone knows that the DC Killer was in fact married to someone else when he met Mildred, his future wife. Gawd. Like I cannot remember one sentence my boss has ever said to me, ever, but now, for some reason, I am memorizing fun facts about serial killers. I am also now an armchair expert about Monica Lewinsky, the Rolling Stones, Robert Pickton and Tonya Harding. I have listened to over 10 podcasts on the OJ trial. Ask me anything. If there was a serial killer and scandal Jeopardy, I would fucking nail it.  

And let’s circle back to why I have never been able to retain anything my boss has ever spoken to me. I was explaining this phenomenon to my coworker recently. My boss is a busy lady. She is an important lady. And she knows A LOT about our branch and processes. So when she comes up to me to talk about anything, I spend the whole conversation pep talking myself to pay attention, to look smart, to LISTEN TO EVERY WORD SHE IS SAYING!! She is giving me information gold. LISTEN!! And then she walks away and every fucking time I realize I have missed everything she has said. Instead I was listening to my inner monologue telling me to fucking pay attention. It has come to the point that if she says anything to me I freak out looking for something to write it on so I can read the words after and be like ah, that is what she said. Interesting. I did not catch a word of that, at the time.

Pandemic Easter! I bought some treats for my nieces and my sister online and anxiously waited until I could bring them over Easter weekend. We drove up, with my nieces playing on the front lawn. We walked over a bag of goodies and I sat at the end of the driveway, put on rubber gloves and pulled out wipes and as I pulled out each goodie from the bag, I wiped it down. What an odd sight to see. Auntie Angie with rubber gloves slowly wiping down a plastic wrapped easter bunny or a bottle of wine. Very serial killer-esque weird pandemic Easter.  

I’ve been to the post office a couple times to pick up boxes of wine I have ordered from the wineries. The last time I went I had my ID out to show the post office clerk and she she told me she didn’t need it. She recognized me. Hoo boyyyy. 

I was explaining to my partner that I was being quite active but I have definitely gained weight. How could this be happening? I realized as I asked this question I had a piece of Strawberry Blonde cream egg brownie in my hand and mini eggs in the other. I mean it was Easter but…Mystery solved. It was this same weekend that every time I would get another glass of wine I would pair it with something sweet. Mmmm this chocolate chip cookies pairs delightfully with this boxed cabernet sauvignon. Or these Hershey Eggies pair delightfully with this Ontario Baco Noir. It was around this time I realized if I kept this up I would have diabetes before the end of this quarantine. Also, Facebook literally just started sending me plus size clothing ads. OKAY FACEBOOK! FUCK YOU! I GET IT!!

My Friday hit a new low last week when I spent it watching Chantal Krev-however-you-spell-it live on Instagram walk around her L.A. garden showing the viewers different kinds of hydrangeas, ferns and bamboo. I am not even really a fan of hers but I have become a bit obsessed with watching her live on Insta. And if she is with her husband, Raine, even better because they are a weird couple and so uncomfortable to watch. They made a doc about their relationship recently and maybe it was just me but it was so hard to watch because he is obvs not into it and she is constantly more involved and annoyed about it. It was also during this Friday when I got up from the couch and realized there is a very significant dent in the couch where I spend most of my evenings watching telly. Living my best life.