I guess I’m getting old when I watch a smutty sex scene in a show I am watching and all I can think about is how straight the guy’s spine is. Wow! What I wouldn’t give to that have that perfect spine. I’m not sure when skeletal parts of the body became sexy for me but that’s not cool at all.

Hennie came home from work the other day to tell me he’s had a customer comment on watching his ass. He had, indeed, been sexually harassed at work. I actually felt a bit okay about it, knowing it wasn’t just the women that have to deal with it. I mean, it’s never okay, but I’m just glad men and women are going through the struggle together. And how come customers in restaurants think they can say whatever they want? I remember when I was working at an Irish pub in town and I was up on the bar cleaning the shelves the liquor was on. One of the old farts at the bar asked if he started waving around money if I would take my clothes off. The other old fart sitting at the bar, my Dad, quickly pointed out to him that I was his daughter. The other guy looked pretty ashamed, finished his beer and left. Good times. I got so used to sexual harassment from bartending in the UK and then Canada I couldn’t even tell the difference between a compliment or harassment. It all came back to me, just after graduating university, when my boss at my first (and only) big girl, salary job asked me if he could touch my ass. I thought, yup, that, my friends, is slightly beyond complimentary. But no worries, I handled it like a pro, I laughed and told him to fuck off. My boss! Ha!

So the most terrible thing EVER happened yesterday. I had spent the better part of the day watching Homeland. Someone had told me season 4 was coming out soon so I decided to google it to see if that was true. AND THE SPOILER THAT THEN PROCEEDED TO HIT ME IN THE FACE WAS CATASTROPHIC! The interweb is such a spoil sport! It happened to me more then once with Sons of Anarchy that I would be doing some extra super fan research on the actors when it it would just blurt out that they die in an episode. DAMMIT! So ya, one of the main characters dies in Homeland at the end of the current season I’m watching. Bloody great. First world problems…

I also watched an episode of Homeland online which had not been edited properly which was so much fun. A young guy’s voice did voice over for an old guy and when they were supposed to be looking at the sight where an explosion had taken place, they just showed a green screen with the word “crater” on it. Boy was that fun. I felt like I was getting the real deal. Like I was practically directing it. So the night after watching way too much Homeland I dreamt all night I was chasing terrorists and reporting all the developments to the Humm. That’s right, our local arts newspaper. I was reporting terrorist activity to the Humm.

I was totally horrified at the gym today when a young guy next to me hopped up onto the treadmill and started running crazy fast. I knew I had the horrified look on my face too. I wanted to yell BE CAREFUL! THE TREADMILL ALWAYS WINS! IT IS A MACHINE AND YOU ARE A HUMAN! YOU ARE RUNNING TOO FAST!! I have been slightly terrified of running on treadmills ever since I had “The treadmill accident” at home. Everyone remembers it. I was running on the treadmill in my flannel pink doughnuts and coffee pajamas when my foot caught the side and I lost my balance. It would have been just like every other Funniest Home Video if I had just flown off the back but instead I had put the treadmill up against the wall. I pinned myself between the treadmill and the wall while the treadmill kept going, burning holes in to my pjs and eventually burning my skin. I screamed and I my Dad RAN down the stairs (the only time I have ever seen my Dad run) to save me from the vicious attack. I sometimes feel like a treadmill war vet. Like I should educate the young people these days on the terrors of treadmills and what it was like to survive a treadmill attack. The nightmares I had! But instead I just horrified faced the guy next to me the whole time, waiting with baited breathe until he lost his footing and flew across the gym. But he didn’t. And I was shocked…and slightly disappointed.